A return

So after all my jokes about, "DON'T just tell me to take a bubble bath g'damn it!" as a response to conversations about self care, I've indeed found the humbleness to respond to a blog-neglected through meditative floating. Yes, there were bubbles- ginger scented to boot. And there were jewel-toned candles, thanks to a thoughtful commatriot. There was also a tabby cat glaring down at me suspiciously from her perch on the sink, and some mildew I had not yet noticed.

But more than that, there was a desire to do more with an evening than make dinner, watch Downton Abbey, do dishes, cuddle with my dog, and feel vaguely shell-shocked from a typical day at work. Not a good sign when by Tuesday your weekend never happened for you. Nor when a kind coworker mentions in the most gentle of ways that she's missed reading your blog. When you procrastinate on a blog about self care, what else must you be neglecting? And how kind to note something you can't have missed, but to show you noticed a bit of someone's life, even a tiny bit, has fallen to the wayside.

What is it about being still, and present in your body, that sets your mind unwinding? Even the process of taking the time to smooth lotion into your skin, hand on body, on elbow, on ankle and knee, is a sort of self soothing. It reminds you: I am real, I am here, this is my body, and by extension, this is my life- not just the lives I seek to touch.